That link made me laugh, for all the reasons one can think of:
http://www.allbusiness.com/marketing-advertising/4280999-1.html
Published: 1998
“MXVI Reasons to Hate Roman Numerals
One thing I’m thankful for is that I never had to run the marketing department of a midsize to large company in Ancient Rome.
There are a lot of reasons for this, one of which would have been the commute. If you were trying to sell decorative vases, say, on the outer Ads By Google
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edges of the sales territory formally known as the Holy Roman Empire, then the commute would have killed you. It was a long ride by horse to Carthage, for example, and then you return to the office and you take a couple of days to get back into the swing of things—to answer your e-mail and check your carrier pigeons—and you maybe get just a little bit behind. This so upsets the chief that the next thing you know, you’re down in the Coliseum trying to reason with a malnourished lion. And I’m guessing that in Ancient Rome reserved chariot parking only went to the muckety-mucks.
But the number one reason reason I wouldn’t like marketing in Rome, circa A.D. 117 can be summed up in two words: Roman numerals.
For the record, I think the Romans did a great job with aqueducts, public sanitation, health systems, transportation, architecture, art, the alphabet, government, and the study of philosophy, astronomy, and the Greek classics, among other things. But let’s face it: They had a pretty ridiculous system of numbers. Sure, Roman numerals look good, but imagine if we had to actually communicate with such things.
I can see the memo now:
To: Profitus Maximus
From: Lacto Vegetarianus
My Dear Profitus:
As per our latest figures just in this morning, we sold MCMXIV vases in France last year, up XLIV percent from the year before. Do we have anyone in research looking into a possible tie-in with these early Christian churches? The Church is just getting off the ground so we’ll want to hook them early on our decorative flower vases and some of our lower-priced urns and candle holders, etc. At the very least, we need to see about bumping up our publicity in some of the farther reaches of the Empire—perhaps Felonius could look into hiring a new ad agency. Also, have we been able to get anything going yet with Visigoths? They may be invading hordes, but a sales increase of XLVII percent among pagan customers in the last quarter is nothing to laugh at.
Best regards,
LV
CC: Caesar
Rome would have been hell for me, numerically speaking. Can you imagine trying to run a spreadsheet with a number like MCXXIV in the middle of it? (One thing’s certain: It’s not the kind of thing Microsoft would ever stand for. Had Microsoft been around during Roman numerals they would have somehow condensed them all into one little window.) Pocket calculators wouldn’t fit in our pockets anymore, and Rolodexes would grow by two thirds. And can you imagine how things would go at the New York Stock Exchange? Traders would spend half their morning just writing down orders, and then everyone would have to be really quiet in the afternoon while the traders shouted their Roman numerals out. If Roman Numerals were still around, then the year 2000 would be the least of our worries right now.
Maybe, in the end, it’s a good thing Rome fell. The Empire overextended itself, as we all know, but if it hadn’t, its numbers would have gotten to it eventually, and to fall by numbers is a horrible way to fall.
Robert Sullivan keeps a bird’s-eye view of the sales and marketing world from his home in Portland, Oregon. His latest book, The Meadowlands: Wilderness Adventures at the Edge of a City (Scribner), was published in March”.
I’m on my way to … the american dream?
